Archive for 2017

My Body

Tuesday, 22 August 2017



So that is a great message and a very important one but I must there is slight hypocrisy in me posting it as I don't always practice what it preaches.

This isn't something that I talk about a lot but I'm a paid up member of the itty bitty titty committee. I'm not not just talking about on the small side either, I mean flat as a pancake. I've had so many issues with this over the years and it has definitely affected my confidence.

My late teens and early twenties were particularly difficult. I worried that people wouldn't find me attractive and did not feel particularly feminine. There was no such thing as body positivity back then and girls were expected to look a certain way. Not living up to that expectation was extremely difficult and I did consider surgery at one point. 
After some research on implants I quickly realised that this was not for me and decided it was my attitude towards my body that needed to change not my body itself. 

This hasn't always been easy. I don't think the majority of people mean to be cruel but I have received many comments over the years that have hurt me and set my confidence back. The size of my breasts have actually been pointed out to me as if it was something I did not know and have even been told to answer the door in quite revealing pyjamas as my breasts were the smallest so it didn't matter if people saw. Like my body is less private than other people's because my breasts are small.

It's only been in my late thirties that it has stoppped bothering me so much, maybe because I ran out of shits to give a long time ago. If people have a problem with my body that's fine. It is absolutely THEIR problem. My body is mine and I can't believe I ever contemplated changing it to make other people feel better about it.

I know it's difficult to love your body  when you have spent so long thinking that there is something fundamentally wrong with you but I am so much happier once I began to accept and embrace my lack of cleavage. I might not be everyone's cup of tea but I'm much happier and more confident and that is so much more important.

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Hello Again

Friday, 28 July 2017




I can't believe it's been almost four years since I posted! To be honest I have no excuse, life just got in the way. After feeling very ashamed of myself I decided to talk a bit about what's been going on with me during this time.


My life has changed quite a lot in the last four years but one thing that has remained the same is my single status. What has changed is my attitude towards it. I no longer worry about being on my own and actually embrace my independence. One day I may meet someone who will change my mind but if I don't that's fine too.
I have also done a lot of soul searching over the last couple of years and have learnt to accept something about myself that I had hidden away a long time ago. I still have a bit of work to on this but for the first time in years I'm starting to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Over the past year and a half I have suffered with severe anxiety. It started after the death of a family member and is by far the scariest thing I have ever gone through. The soul searching mentioned above is a result of the therapy I received. I have now also started taking medication and I now feel that the worst is over. Mental health is definitely something I will touch on in later posts. Although things are improving it's a subject that is not talked about enough and still has a stigma attached to it. 

To end on a lighter note I changed my job at the beginning of last year and it was the best decision I could have made. I have learnt so much and now have much more time to spend with family and friends. I also have amazing opportunities like a working holiday to Scotland next week.


Hope everyone is well and will most definitely post again soon.

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